I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
