I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
