did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
