did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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