Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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