I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
