Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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