I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
