Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
