I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
