youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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