You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
