I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
