i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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