I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
