She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
