tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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