I cockslap morals
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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