hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
