Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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