I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
