what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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