Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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