Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
