this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
