my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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