i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
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I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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