so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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