He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
