I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
