We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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