I looked at my own cervix.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
