Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
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