My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
