I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
