My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
