hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
