It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize