$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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