I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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