It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
