Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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