My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Oh god it's open bar.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
