im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
