I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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