Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
