U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
