As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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