i need an iv and a liver transplant
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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