This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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