Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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