Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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