I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
