I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
