I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize