I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
