I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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