I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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