D3 body, D1 cock
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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