She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
