I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
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and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
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No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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