Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
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