I'm lost and stupid without you.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just had sex on a roof
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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