wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
