please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
