Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
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Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
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why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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