he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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