If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
